It’s all fun and games until someone dies! #ASMSG #socialmedia

Pardon my sobering thoughts  my lovelies… 

This year has been the year of tragedies in my personal as well as professional life, and the wheels and cogs are going crazy in my head. I know you’re saying…
Don't get smart!


However, today I’m posting my first clearly grave and serious topic! I rarely talk about solemn or sobering things on here, but this one has touched me dearly.

Please keep reading… 

You see in my lifestyle of bdsm/leather; it’s a rarity that we share with our blood relatives what it is we do in our bedrooms or out on a Saturday night.

Why you ask? Judgmental-ness is a dish best served– never. That’s why! 🙂

We fear judgment, and honestly, I know people who fear exorcisms being performed on them… ok maybe not that bad, but serious ridicule and damnation in some instances.

So…where am I going with this?  



Once you put it out on the interwebz it’s there forever,  but you are here to maintain, and you can help keep the prying eyes from finding you. What happens when you are no longer here?  I know morbid thought, right? 

I told you this post was serious, and I hope you see the severity of the situation…

Who will tell your readers or internet friends you passed away?

Who will make sure your Twitter, Facebook, Linkd-in, Pinterest, and so and so forth are deleted?


Who will hide your naughty books and toys?



Who will wipe your phone of all the dirty photos? Or naughty sexting events you had with that girl on twitter?


Who is going to clean out your email box so your mother doesn’t find out what a flipping pervert you really are? 

And now,  I’m going to focus specifically on erotica writers that haven’t opened up to their families about what they do on the side:

Who will you leave your copyrights and royalties to; if you haven’t told anyone you are a dirty word writer? 

These are all very serious questions that I think we need to ask ourselves.

Most of us are young and thinking about death seems very unimportant compared to who we’re partying with next. But after having 3 friends (1 younger than me), who had no such plan in place, die this year; I’m seriously thinking about thinking about death, and my plan if something were to happen…

Until death do us part


Do you have a plan?


Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996!

53 responses to “It’s all fun and games until someone dies! #ASMSG #socialmedia

  1. This is something that has been on my mind often. Over the years I have built a online community of “family” and friends. While it is easy enough to have friends and family to handle things in case of an untimely event I have nothing in place to deal with my online life.
    While I do have several online family that I would gladly trust with my username and password the part of this puzzle that is hard to fit is being they live almost halfway across the country how would they even know if something happened to me.

    This is a question that has been asked numerous times by many people but as yet; at lest for myself have not found a concrete answer to.

    • In my case… Thankfully my lives interconnect … But I hope you can figure out a plan to connect your worlds, so what happened to me yesterday doesn’t happened to anyone else.

      I opened up Fetlife to find a RIP …. It happened weeks ago. I had no idea. But no one knows the story of what happened to him… Just that he’s passed on. 😦 I’m sad in so many ways… And don’t want this to happen to others!

      Thanks for commenting!!! 🙂
      Bad Penny

      • Sadly in my case my lives don’t overlap; although I do have a cousin that I have been considering opening up to about it. If anyone in the family would understand she would.

        There are a number of people that I would want to know what if anything happened to me and not just have them think I faded off into the sunset like so many do on the Interweb.

        I’m so sorry about your friend, cyber or RL the hurt is still the same.


  2. I hadn’t actually ever thought about this, but your words have hit home, I think Master and I will have to sit down and have a talk about this, x thank you

    • Most people I mentioned it to hadn’t….which is why I thought it was important to write a post about it. Thank you! Please spread the word and remind others to make a plan! 🙂

      Bad Penny

      • Oh I most definitely will, I mean if we can’t share it while we are here, there is no need too afterwards, goodness I am really glad you bought this up xx clever girl x

  3. Seriously. Very sobering. There are just some things you cannot share with a spouse or relative or parent unless they are like yourself and participate in your kink, fetish and social media’s. the thing is though, if your a writer, like Penelope, I believe a last will with a designated beneficiary with specific private instructions for each media would be appropriate in this instance.

  4. It’s a bit late to care what people think once you’re dead. The good news is that with a properly executed and documented will, you can address all these issues.

    What hasn’t happened, and everyone should be thinking about this, is a standard clause in wills declaring all your social media accounts and granting specific permission and clear orders for what should be done with them. Just like you presumably keep a spare key with instructions for your safety deposit box and your home, you should have a printout of all your online accounts maintained and kept up to date for someone to do the appropriate close out and clean up.

    • Max,

      Wishful thinking on your part! However, since I’m still alive and not dead; I guess I’m taking action just in time!

      Thanks for stalking my blog… repeatedly. (Although, it’s weird if you ask me)


  5. During one of the apocalypse threats I actually posted my own eulogy and told every person important to me what I thought of them–closing with my endearment of “I love you.” I live every moment like I’m on film, and sometimes I look straight at the camera and pick my nose. For me life is too short to waste time on those who don’t get it. I’ve very little shame, and find freedom in knowing that when my family goes through the bookmarked porn sites and toys I got from tootimid, they’ll say…”That’s my Stephanie.”

    • Hah!!! You go girl!!! It will be the same for me! But I know so many that just can’t find the power to be that open… So I hope they make a plan! 🙂

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Love and licks!
      Bad Penny

  6. It’s funny but I have actually over the last 6 weeks or so given lots of thought to his very question. I used to think more in terms of god what they will find in that box of old love letters to please don’t open any of my computer file. I fiqure most likely I would be safe and my naughtiness would perish with me. But as I’ve explored more online & made friends I have realized two important things be careful what information you put out there and the need for a contingency plan. It’s more than just letting those you are close to online know what has happened to you but also protecting your loved ones. We all have secrets and desires that are better left proactive to reason they should see the light of day & hurt someone after you are gone. And it goes beyond the dirty pictures on a phone. It is hard but I have started to work on my plan it takes some important thinking and trust of someone to ask them for help after your passing. It is not an easy task. But that being said I’m taking my phone with me you won’t be able to pry it out of my grip! Thanks for brining up something so important and scary we all need to think about. ❌⭕

    • You are one of the reasons I wrote this post… Death just happened to be my focus… But your situation lately made me think what if you didn’t have someone to help you… So I’m glad you’re putting together a plan!

      Lovers you long time baby girl!!! ❌⭕😘
      Bad Penny

      • Thank you cutie!! Last year had been an education for me. I’ve made some mistakes but had lots of fun learning & exploring. It’s smart to always have a back up plan for everything on life because things have a way of going sideways. Appreciate how you have been there for me. ❌😘

  7. Fortunately, my family is aware of what I write and therefore all of my royalties and copyrights go to my daughter (managed by her father until her majority) should anything happen to me.

    However, you do bring up a very good point. Sadly, I have no answer for it. My blog will simply sit and fester should anything happen to me since, though they know about it, my family is not involved in anyway in it.

    Best wishes!

  8. Reblogged this on MaríMar and commented:
    Penny (my sis from another Mister) asks “Who will tell your readers or internet friends you passed away?
    Who will make sure your Twitter, Facebook, Linkd-in, Pinterest, and so and so forth are deleted?” as well as many other questions.
    This post made me think and you should read it…
    Is there an answer to her questions?

  9. Yep. It’s called, “I don’t care.” My family KNOWS me. They know I am a wild-child and I always have been. I don’t tell them about this stuff, but if they found out they likely wouldn’t care. They’d say, “It’s your business.” And leave it at that.

  10. Funny you should mention it, but yes I actually have made arrangements should something happen. I’ve a number of people that should I pass unexpectedly will sell my art, close my blogs, send out thank you/good bye statements.
    Much love
    “Born to die” Born to thrive!!!

  11. This applies even more to those of us who are at or near pension age. My family is cool, but I know someone in the situation you describe.

    • I concur… everyone should look into a plan of action… social media and the interwebz have changed the game for us in great ways and not so great ways. lol

      Bad Penny

  12. Don’t really think so much about what is going to happen to the stuff I left behind when I can’t even have a say or to know how my body is going to be disposed off. Everything is up to those who are around you, who can be your related ones or strangers.

    I’m quite down in my situation. What’s going to be ahead of me, I can’t tell.

  13. Ok with the job I had (high risk) I setbup a email that I gave to a few friends and family ao if something happened they just sent a email to it with some details and they would be forwarded to people that I thought needed to know some of them had my login information and will take care of my life nice and neat most of my stuff is locked up in RL and there is letters stating who gets what and who packs up my stuff so I hope that will be enough to keep some people still happy and in the darkness hope some of this might help

  14. You asked a whole lot of questions here the answers to which I firmly believe you can find at the Old Timer Chronicle… Cutie pie!

    However, you’ll have to scroll down a ways to find most of them… Ouch!

  15. I recently redid my will. It’s an awakening experience to be sure. Keep heart that you will have a plan and that your loved ones will take care of you.

  16. Pingback: REBLOG: It’s all fun and games until someone dies! #ASMSG #socialmedia | Genevieve Dewey, Author

  17. Pingback: It’s all fun and games until someone dies! #ASMSG #socialmedia | My journey thru submission

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