Christmas Eve Special Edition of Little Miss Notoriety’s Advice Column #ASMSG #Holidays #Advice #Christmas

  • Happy Holidays you lovely creatures. I hope you’re having a most scrumptious Christmas Eve. Thank you for joining me for this special edition of my advice column.  Tonight is all about how to survive your family during the Holiday Season… Ready? Get set? Go…

advice fail-owned-evacuation-fail

  • This advice can be used for so many thing during the holiday season… Let’s start with- if your mother asks you to look at the corn on her little toe. Run… fast and hard.  When your mother’s brother’s uncle tries to pry into your love life, because he’s a miserable drunk that can’t get laid. Run… and HIDE. He knows where you live.  When the 2 almost 3-year-old has pooped in his pants, because his parents won’t potty train him, but they didn’t want to hear the lecture of  “why is your kid still in diapers?” Run… before they ask you to help!  And last but certainly not least… When your lovely grandfather pulls out his false teeth and says. “Oh hunny bring me that glass.” Pretend you didn’t hear, and RUN!   I wish I had been given this advice.

Advice Insane

  • First you have twitter and in 140 characters or less you can have a rant over why you hate your family.  Then you have blogs like this, where you can express all that hatred through poetry, prose, or photos.  And last but not least… you got PORN! The internet is for Porn… The Internet is for Porn – Sesame Street Style! – YouTube

Advice Funny-Christmas-Someecards-2012

  • Right… well I’m not posting what I got myself, but I did purchase myself some fabulously naughty gifts and so did Joseph. I can’t wait to get back home to that pole!
  • So… that statement is true for giving as well as getting. Take my advice- Don’t be a spoiled rotten brat. If your 80-year-old granny gives you a pair of socks with cats on them, you put them bitches on and wear them like they are stylish! Don’t you hurt that woman’s feelings, or I will come and snatch you up and beat the tar out of you. And not in a fun spanky kinda way. Ask Bruce the Butcher what happens when you cross Little Miss Notoriety!
  • Mingle with your co-workers, it’s the only way to find out the dirt.  That is, if you’d like your pick of whom to fuck in town like me.
  • You get nothing, when you ask for nothing.  Remember this for future reference.  Nothing is just going to be handed over… Well unless you’re me, and then life just seems to keep overflowing with loveliness. Fuckdoll by day, and Dominatrix by night, I have the perfect life.

Advice Funny-Holiday-Cards

  • I  disagree.  Mistletoe should be hung with care, no matter where. Hah, I rhymed, Penny would be so proud.  And believe me… Mistletoe hung there, gets the best kisses ever! 

Advice 8148724042_bc11eb6c05_n

  • And last but certainly not least… This is true for Santa, but certainly do not ask Mrs. Claus this question! She’s a prude and is liable to deny you presents for life. She has Santa by a ball, and I heard Bad Penny has the other one.  
  • In conclusion… Exercise a month prior to the holidays, and you should buy new running shoes.  When all else fails, the Internet is for Porn! Don’t be an ungrateful bitch/bastard, and have kinky office sex.  Christmas is your traditions and yours to make it what you want. Don’t let someone tell you where to hang your Mistletoe!

You are now Forgiven, My Dear #Poetry #ASMSG #love #Dec

You said the papers were to be on your desk first thing

Except the phone gave a ring a ding-ding

My sister wanted to gossip about her ex-husband’s wife

I listened to her drone on about her horrible life

I didn’t hear you come in the back door

My hair was yanked, and my knees found the floor

My body’s hot with need for you to forgive

You playfully say you’ve decided to let me live

You teach me a lesson I’ll always remember

My ass is as red as the hottest ember

Your words whisper across the shell of my ear

“You are now forgiven, my dear.”

NEW Release! Come along for the Adventures of Little Miss Notoriety #ASMSG #Erotica #BDSM

Good morning my lovelies… 

 

I figured you were sick of my tagline- “It’s here, it’s here!”  But IT’S HERE!

 

LMN graphic

 

Belle Notoriety might be Joe Switzer’s fuck doll, but the rest of Shagville Heights bows to her.  Watch out… she’ll get into your head, and you won’t be able to resist confessing your dirty little secrets. Come along for the Adventures of Little Miss Notoriety. and see just who becomes whose sex toy!

girlswhotease

 

 

Adventures of Little Miss Notoriety Buy Links:

US  http://bit.ly/A-LMN

UK  http://bit.ly/LMN-UK

CA  http://bit.ly/LMN-CA

 

A HUGE thank you to PJ Perryman; Little Miss Notoriety started with a superb idea from her and has taken off to become what it is now! You’re the best!!!

 

Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996! 

copyright 2013

 

Excerpt from my new release 8-1-13 Adventures of Little Miss Notoriety #ASMSG #BDSM

Good morning my lovelies… 

I do hope your hump day is going well!

You ready for Miss Bell Notoriety? 

“Where do you think you’re going? Did I give you permission to leave, my little fuck doll?”  Joe’s words practically purred at her in that quiet Tenor tone of his.

Those last four words were her undoing, she moved like silk in a breeze to her knees, and crawled like an animal. Belle rested her cheek just at his inner thigh, and he laughed. Belle didn’t care; it’s all part of their little game, it gets them both jazzed, and eventually off.

“No, Sir.” Her eyes tipped towards him, and a very convincing innocent pout creased the corners of her pretty little mouth. “You were in such a foul mood this morning; I just knew you wouldn’t want to be bothered with me, Sir. I apologize.” Belle’s soft melodious tone soothed Joe; it always had, and his fingers lightly stroked through her golden tresses.

“You’re never a bother to me but often just a piece of ass.” His arrogance hung in the air like a lingering odor, and then he laughed again. “Today though, I think you know what I need.”

No words needed to be exchanged at that point. Her face pressed into his straining black trousers, and her mouth gently gnawing at the length of his hard shaft through the cloth. He smoothly unbuckled his belt, and his pants slipped down his hips. Exactly what he need, and what she wanted was about to occur. Joe’s strong fingers wrapped the base of his cock, smacking the head against Belle’s cheek making a hallowed thumping sound. Rapidly she blinked, and mewled her need, her want to taste him. Slowly her curvy frame pressed into him; her heaving breasts brushing across his thighs, as she hovered over her delectable prize. 

She’s almost here! 8-1-13…. Amazon.com is the place to be! 

LMN Graphic

Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996!

Adventures of Little Miss Notoriety Cover Reveal!!! #ASMSG #Erotica #Dominatrix #BDSM

Lick. Suck. Blow.

His name was Joe

.

My funds had depleted so low,

and he had mad dough

.

You perverts…

.

Lick his envelopes

Suck his carpets clean with a vacuum

and blow leaves off the walkway

.

Lick. Suck. Blow

No, I’m not a ho

I’m Joe Switzer’s  secretary though

.

But later…

.

I’ll lick him clean

suck him dry,

and blow his mind

.

Because I’m that kinda girl… Lick. Suck. Blow.

.

Variety….

I’m Little Miss Bell Notoriety

.

littlemissnotoriety

.

.

Coming to an ebook vendor near you!!!

.

Adventures of Little Miss Notoriety will be available August 1st…. I truly hope you love her as much as I do…and here’s a special shout out to my girl @PattiSparkles who helped me created Miss Bell Notoriety! I lovers you long time girl!!! 

.

.

Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996!

Copyright 2013

Introducing Belle Notoriety… Release Date 08-01-2013 #ASMSG #Erotica #Dominatrix #spanking

Hello out there,

I’m Miss Belle Notoriety, and I live in Shagville Heights. I very pleased to meet all of you. So… Penny asked me to share a few things about myself, so here it goes.

I’ve lovely blonde hair, the brightest blue eyes you ever did see, and I have an ass you wish you could do really naughty things to! And you might be able to if you ask nicely or beg, begging gets you everywhere with me.

I work for the only law firm within fifty miles of here, Joseph Switzer and Assoc. I’m Mr. Switzer’s secretary, and whenever he feels like it, his fuck doll.  However, for you and those of Shagville Heights, I’m no fuck toy, in fact, stay tuned and see just who becomes whose fuck doll!

Psst…I think Bruce’s the Butcher loses, but I could be wrong.  You’ll have to come find out.

Love and Licks,

Little Miss Notoriety

August 1st, 2013  

Adventures of Little Miss Notoriety will be in publication!!! 

COVER Reveal This weekend!!! Stay tuned!

Love and Licks,

Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996!

Little Miss Notoriety’s on Santa’s Naughty List #ASMSG

tumblr_mfgtcmRzuj1qllucco1_500

(Make Sure to check out Daily Peril for more info on the art, used from Tumblr, above)

Mr. Switzer has Belle strung up a pole right now, please forgive her. She will be here tomorrow at 8:30pmCST for a Christmas Eve Story time with Miss Notoriety.  You won’t wanna miss this naughty Christmas special.  See you then!

Licks and Kisses,

Bad Penny