Christmas Eve Special Edition of Little Miss Notoriety’s Advice Column #ASMSG #Holidays #Advice #Christmas

  • Happy Holidays you lovely creatures. I hope you’re having a most scrumptious Christmas Eve. Thank you for joining me for this special edition of my advice column.  Tonight is all about how to survive your family during the Holiday Season… Ready? Get set? Go…

advice fail-owned-evacuation-fail

  • This advice can be used for so many thing during the holiday season… Let’s start with- if your mother asks you to look at the corn on her little toe. Run… fast and hard.  When your mother’s brother’s uncle tries to pry into your love life, because he’s a miserable drunk that can’t get laid. Run… and HIDE. He knows where you live.  When the 2 almost 3-year-old has pooped in his pants, because his parents won’t potty train him, but they didn’t want to hear the lecture of  “why is your kid still in diapers?” Run… before they ask you to help!  And last but certainly not least… When your lovely grandfather pulls out his false teeth and says. “Oh hunny bring me that glass.” Pretend you didn’t hear, and RUN!   I wish I had been given this advice.

Advice Insane

  • First you have twitter and in 140 characters or less you can have a rant over why you hate your family.  Then you have blogs like this, where you can express all that hatred through poetry, prose, or photos.  And last but not least… you got PORN! The internet is for Porn… The Internet is for Porn – Sesame Street Style! – YouTube

Advice Funny-Christmas-Someecards-2012

  • Right… well I’m not posting what I got myself, but I did purchase myself some fabulously naughty gifts and so did Joseph. I can’t wait to get back home to that pole!
  • So… that statement is true for giving as well as getting. Take my advice- Don’t be a spoiled rotten brat. If your 80-year-old granny gives you a pair of socks with cats on them, you put them bitches on and wear them like they are stylish! Don’t you hurt that woman’s feelings, or I will come and snatch you up and beat the tar out of you. And not in a fun spanky kinda way. Ask Bruce the Butcher what happens when you cross Little Miss Notoriety!
  • Mingle with your co-workers, it’s the only way to find out the dirt.  That is, if you’d like your pick of whom to fuck in town like me.
  • You get nothing, when you ask for nothing.  Remember this for future reference.  Nothing is just going to be handed over… Well unless you’re me, and then life just seems to keep overflowing with loveliness. Fuckdoll by day, and Dominatrix by night, I have the perfect life.

Advice Funny-Holiday-Cards

  • I  disagree.  Mistletoe should be hung with care, no matter where. Hah, I rhymed, Penny would be so proud.  And believe me… Mistletoe hung there, gets the best kisses ever! 

Advice 8148724042_bc11eb6c05_n

  • And last but certainly not least… This is true for Santa, but certainly do not ask Mrs. Claus this question! She’s a prude and is liable to deny you presents for life. She has Santa by a ball, and I heard Bad Penny has the other one.  
  • In conclusion… Exercise a month prior to the holidays, and you should buy new running shoes.  When all else fails, the Internet is for Porn! Don’t be an ungrateful bitch/bastard, and have kinky office sex.  Christmas is your traditions and yours to make it what you want. Don’t let someone tell you where to hang your Mistletoe!

What legacy will you leave imprinted on other’s lives? #ASMSG #inspirational #thoughtprovoking

Pink can stand for integrity,

honesty, and a pure life.

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What does our life say about us?
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Do you feel the life you lead defines who you are in death?
.Here’s my take on the subject…

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I absolutely think it does!  Emphatically, in fact!  We all make mistakes in life, it helps mold us into better, stronger people.  Some of us make grave mistakes and can find a way to overcome the fork in the road and still leave a good, lasting impression.
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I have thought about this a lot over the past few years, and I think it’s a very important topic.
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I want to be known as the girl who could  help you find your smile!  I love being the funny girl.  It defines me… I think.
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I also want to be known as the girl who would help you purge your life.  And by this I mean a lot of things. Some people need good advice to help them learn to purge… to want more, to be more!  Some people have clutter in their lives, and they need someone  to help them clean it up.  And, then there are people who have clutter in their minds, and they just need someone to listen to them, to hear them.  And I hope that when I am no longer here… people see me as this person because it’s one of the things I love about me.And…

I want to be known as the girl who helped people be honest with themselves— To find the life they wish to live and live it to its fullest.  I want to help people realize they don’t have to live traditional lives just because society dictates it.  Be the best you that you can be and make sure while being the best you, you share it with the best person or persons for you, that your heart can buy!
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I strive to live an honest, pure life with integrity. I strive to be the best me, I can be.  As an author of erotica which details out aspects of my real life leather/bdsm experiences; I feel I’m sharing with the world my legacymy beliefs, even if it is through fiction and poetic smuttery!
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dirty words pretty
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*giggles* So… now, that I have given you my thoughts on living “your best life” and being the best you; let me know what you think by leaving me a comment!

I would love to hear what you want to leave imprinted on other’s lives when you are gone!  What have you woven into others to leave as your legacy?  I am leaving my pink imprint, hopefully, everywhere I go.  Small prints, big prints, pink prints.. they all count!

Start counting!
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Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996! 
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Fictional and Poetic Smuttery can be found here: 

Lick.Suck.Blow Little Miss Notoriety #Poemup

Lick. Suck. Blow

His name’s Joe

My funds have depleted so low

And he has mad dough

You perverts…

Lick envelopes to mail for him

Suck the carpets with a vacuum

Blow the leaves off the walk-way

Lick. Suck. Blow

No, I’m not a ho

I’m his secretary though

But later…

I’ll lick him clean, suck him dry, and blow his mind.

I’m that kinda girl…Lick, suck, blow.

Variety

I’m little Miss Notoriety

Tune in Sunday’s at 8:30pmCST

Also, tune in today (Oct. 28, 2012) at 1:30pmCST to find out just who Miss Belle Notoriety is, and every Sunday at 8:30pmCST for an episode of Little Miss Notoriety.

P.S. Every third Sunday of the month Miss Notoriety will be an advice column!

So, please email her at LittleMissNotoriety@gmail.com with your questions.

Can’t wait to hear from you! Let’s make Sunday the naughtiest day of the week!

Positively Sinful. See you then.

Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996!

A word from our sponsor: Me!

 

I don’t know if you noticed, but lately I have been trying to convey that words mean everything in a relationship. Actions are amazing, but words are what women/men need to hear. Yes, I said men, they also need the words as much as we do, and don’t let them tell you otherwise.  The mixture’s a necessity, and the recipe must be exact. So to all my fellas out there, and all my gals —

  • Say it.
  • Mean it.
  • Do it.
  • Often.

 

Now, back to our regularly schedule programming.

Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996!