A Little Time Under Our Tree #Poetry #Love #Death #ForeverLove

I’m sitting under our favorite tree

I wondering if you’re thinking of me

 

I’ve thought about nothing else since you went away

You plague my life day after, day after day.

 

I think about how you used to hold my hand

And how you always thought my jokes were so grand

 

I think about the time we went to Paris

We had a great trip, despite your brother Harris

 

I remember the way you looked after a long, hard day

You knew I’d always be there to assure you, it’s okay

 

I thought you’d always be here too

Your being gone leaves me without a clue

 

I sometimes smell a faint memory of your scent

I know it’s not possible, but I hope it’s you leaving me a hint

 

I thought it would get easier as time passed by

I miss coming home to you saying hi

 

It hasn’t gotten less painful as I watch the world keep turning

And I keep laying awake yearning

 

Burning for you to return to me as if it weren’t true

Waking each morning not exactly sure what to do

 

What’s the next step in my life

I don’t think I could be someone else’s wife

 

I’m in love with you more today than ever before

I hate that tragedy has closed our door

 

You were the light of my dead-end alley

Now I live in the deepest, darkest valley

 

I’m so angry that you thought it was OK to die

You said you’d take care of me forever, you lied

 

I don’t think anyone really knows how much I hurt

My heart feels like it’s been drug through the dirt

 

It’s only been a few months, maybe I just need more time

What I really need is for everyone to stop telling me “it’ll be fine”

 

It won’t, I miss you so much I can’t breathe

Every night I wonder how could you leave

 

I mourn the loss of you, my one true love

That now looks down upon me from above

 

I’m going to move on, I promise you that

And no I’m not going to start collecting cats

 

I won’t become one of those old ladies

I rather spend the next 100 years in Hades

 

I say all these things but the future’s unsure

Because my heart ache’s for you, and there’s no cure

 

I think coming to visit our tree has helped

Rehashing the pains that life has dealt

 

I’m going to continue to love you forever

But as you know I am too clever

 

To waste away until I’m an old crone

Destined to spend my life alone

 

No…you know I sparkle too much to settle

Even though my throat is still encased in your metal

 

Your collar you put there to show that I’m yours

Each time I remember that night, my heart soars

 

Maybe one day I’ll be able to move on

Maybe one day I’ll be able to admit that your gone

 

Until then, I’ll continue to visit our tree

And wonder if you’re thinking of me

 

The Next Time I Fly… #Poemup #ASMSG

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I need to be wrapped in your embrace

I need to hear I love you, just in case

 

I didn’t think I’d ever be in this situation

The fear has set in with the anticipation

 

I feel it every time it shakes

My seat creaks as it quakes

 

I’m writing you this email,

So you know I care

Just in case,

I don’t make it there

 

I should have woke you,

Before I got in the cab

But you’re cranky in the mornings

Just a dab

 

Now… I wish I had

 

Please know that I love you, no matter

I’m sorry my brains a little scattered

 

I love the way you smile,

when my lips are in full pout

You always encourage me

When I have self-doubt

 

You’re my everything,

Even if there is no tomorrow

Time’s something we just borrow

 

Wait…

 

The Captain just said. “The turbulence has passed”

So my former “I love you” will not be my last

 

It appears time’s giving us another glance

I think I’ll give that spanking idea of yours another chance

 

And you should know

The next time I fly,

I won’t forget to say…

Goodbye

Suffering in silence… #ASMSG #Inspirational #Love #Life

While I should be thrilled about my new book release, which I’m not even going to mention the name of… I’m suffering in silence… 

I want to share a little more of me….

I don’t want to talk about me or my own problems… I know, how is that sharing a little more of me, but I promise you’ll understand.

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While 2013 in so many ways has been an amazing year for me, I’ve also suffered sadness like you wouldn’t believe, but not just me; I suffered silently for my friends as well.

A reader I’d never met in my life, but yet we talked almost daily on twitter for 7 months died just a few months back, and I was devastated. He suffered in silence.  I had to take an entire day to just recover from the shock and sadness.  Although I was sad, I can’t imagine the emotional toll it took upon his family; he was only 32.

A writer, who I would consider a dear friend, yet I’ve never met her either, has suffered so much loss in her family, I’ve no idea how to comfort her anymore. My heart aches for her, yet she is one of the strongest women I know. I know she suffers in silence just as I do, but she is trooping along and still living the dream. Suffering in silence… 

2 very dear Leathermen from my lifestyle community passed away in the past year. One suffered silently with ALS; he smiled until the day he passed away. Another in a freak accident, but he suffered for 3 days putting on a brave face for us all before he died. Suffering in silence… 

A poet friend of mine just posted to his blog that he has been suffering for months, and more likely than not is going to die within the next few months from Lung cancer that has spread and is taking over his body.  Yet another person that suffered in silence… 

My dear friend suffered in silence knowing the secret of the man above for months, he trusted her. He loves her and she loves him, and my heart is breaking right now for them both. You’re both amazing people and deserve better. I’m sorry you had to suffer in silence… 

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We suffer in silence because people don’t want to hear our problems. They want to live vicariously through us because they likely are already suffering in silence. It’s a vicious cycle, and we must stop it!

I for one am finished suffering in silence! If I’m having a bad day, be prepared to hear about them more often. If you truly care about me as a writer, as I do you as my readers… share with me as well!

That’s what my comment section is for! 

I truly lovers you guys more than you could ever know.  Thank you for bothering to read this far… Stop suffering alone; if no one else cares… I do! 

.

Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996!

It’s all fun and games until someone dies! #ASMSG #socialmedia

Pardon my sobering thoughts  my lovelies… 

This year has been the year of tragedies in my personal as well as professional life, and the wheels and cogs are going crazy in my head. I know you’re saying…
Don't get smart!

 

However, today I’m posting my first clearly grave and serious topic! I rarely talk about solemn or sobering things on here, but this one has touched me dearly.

Please keep reading… 

You see in my lifestyle of bdsm/leather; it’s a rarity that we share with our blood relatives what it is we do in our bedrooms or out on a Saturday night.

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Why you ask? Judgmental-ness is a dish best served– never. That’s why! 🙂

We fear judgment, and honestly, I know people who fear exorcisms being performed on them… ok maybe not that bad, but serious ridicule and damnation in some instances.

So…where am I going with this?  

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Once you put it out on the interwebz it’s there forever,  but you are here to maintain, and you can help keep the prying eyes from finding you. What happens when you are no longer here?  I know morbid thought, right? 

I told you this post was serious, and I hope you see the severity of the situation…

Who will tell your readers or internet friends you passed away?

Who will make sure your Twitter, Facebook, Linkd-in, Pinterest, and so and so forth are deleted?

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Who will hide your naughty books and toys?

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Who will wipe your phone of all the dirty photos? Or naughty sexting events you had with that girl on twitter?

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Who is going to clean out your email box so your mother doesn’t find out what a flipping pervert you really are? 

And now,  I’m going to focus specifically on erotica writers that haven’t opened up to their families about what they do on the side:

Who will you leave your copyrights and royalties to; if you haven’t told anyone you are a dirty word writer? 

These are all very serious questions that I think we need to ask ourselves.

Most of us are young and thinking about death seems very unimportant compared to who we’re partying with next. But after having 3 friends (1 younger than me), who had no such plan in place, die this year; I’m seriously thinking about thinking about death, and my plan if something were to happen…

Until death do us part

 

Do you have a plan?

 

Penelope Jones- Spanking it since 1996!