Used Goods… #Poetry #DamageGoods

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Cracked ego,

Ruined self-esteem,

Damaged heart,

Broken mind,

Hated stomach,

Loathed ass,

I keep thinking it will pass

 

It won’t.

 

Used Goods…

I’m Selfish #Poetry #ASMSG #SelfAwareness

 

Self-awareness…

I learned it after the first few heart breaks

I wasn’t going to have another reason to ache

I discovered I love too easily,

I give too much,

and I no long am a butter fly that wishes to fly

 

Self-defense…

I learned it after the first few beatings

I wasn’t going to have another reason to ache

I listen for pitches in voice to change,

the posture of body,

the veins popping out in the neck.

 

Self-preservation…

I learned it after the first few times I was let down

I wasn’t going to have another reason to ache

I hold less stock in words than actions,

we teach people how to treat us,

and life isn’t a fucking bowl of cherries.

 

Self…

Is the root word of selfish …

 

If being self-aware leads to self-defense, which then leads to self-preservation makes me selfish…

 

I’m selfish!

 

 

by Penelope Jones copyright 2013

Get Off Our Lazy Butts Challenge Week 2 #ASMSG

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  • My goals last week were as follows…
  • I will run/walk 2-3 miles daily, and a varied workout on machines at the gym. 
  • I did succeed, however I think my thighs and calves hate me right now, so I’ll be taking the day off today
  • I will remember to eat more than once a day ( my life’s nuts… It’s quite easy to forget. Until, you’re about to gnaw someone’s arm off, then you tend to realize. LOL )
  • I remembered to eat more than once a day most days… I did fail on Wednesday, but that was the restaurant’s fault, not mine.  Stale chips and cold chicken. Blah.
  • I will continue my 4 nights a week workouts for abs/butt.  P.S. My Butt was one of my daily body loves. It’s getting so rounded and cute. :P
  • I failed at this task.  I made it three nights this week, but the four just never seemed to be found.
  • I’m going to continue my daily reasons to love my body, and this week I won’t cheat and like my feet twice. (It’s not really cheating if you are making the rules, right? LOL )
  • Well… this week was better than last week in this department, but I have to say that towards the end of the week was much harder than it was in the beginning.  Still a work in progress.
  • I’m continuing to work off the deficit my lazy bum created for me, and a new deficit that my nightly routines have made. (Told you at some point adjustments would need to be made lol )  It’s a challenge that I’m not willing to fail. Bring it on.
  • Well I have no idea if my deficit is gone or not, but do know I took a pretty good spanking, and forgot to count. 😦 So, it’s possible that it might not have counted.  Neither here nor there, I’m not adding to it lately, so that’s awesome. 🙂
  • I’m using the quote above to help me complete my goals this week: Week 3 goals are as follows:
  1. 2-3 miles walk/run with a day of uphill, everyday but Monday.
  2. Nightly routines of ab/butt work 4 nights, but I’m shooting for 5. 🙂
  3. My work in progress, liking my body… Still working on it. haha
  4. My deficit spanks.  I’m going to find out if I still owe some or not. Yes it’s my goal. He’s super busy, so I’m thankful he took time to help me with these tasks.
  • I’m leaving my goals at 4 this week, Christmas is upon us, and I have a shit ton of things to do that have nothing to do with it. Ugh! Calgon take me away… heh 

Week 1 Get Off Our Lazy Butts Challenge #ASMSG

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  • My goals for the week were as follows: 
    1. I will walk/run 5 days this week. (2-3 miles each time)
    2. I will eat smaller portions (Because this works for me lol)
    3. I will do 30 minutes 4 nights a week of ab/butt work out ( because those areas need the healthiest results LOL)
    4. I’m going to love me. All of me, even the parts I don’t tend to like. (This will be my hardest goal this week, wish me luck!)
    5. And last, but certainly not least… I’m going to get rid of the deficit spankings I have for my lazy ass two weeks of not working out. I’m at like 50 spankings, and 10 belt lashes I think, UGH! (Punishment’s a huge motivation for me. I hate being punished. I hate feeling like I failed. So… it works. I’m exercising again, aren’t I? heh)

 

  • So… I achieved goal 1, and exceeded it as well. Woot.
  • Goal 2 was simple, because I was already doing it, but I wanted to remind myself.
  • Number 3 was really hard for me, but I doubled up one day so I achieved the goal. I’m not making excuses, but I work very hard, and then find time to write. I will achieve my goals, I will not fail.  (I hope I can maintain my attitude. Adjustments I sure will need to be made at some point, lol )
  • UGH! I told you 4 would be my hardest, and I’ve struggled all week with it. (I’m not going to talk about weight loss goals…but stay with me here. lol )  Funny story, I used to love everything about me, or so I thought.  I struggle with loving my body the most.  It’s only recently become an issue, and I like I said I fight it daily.  When I was ‘fat’ I rarely looked in the mirror, except to fix my hair and make-up, it’s a girl thing. Now, I feel like all I ever do it look in the mirror and wish I looked different.   I’ve been told I don’t see what other’s see. That I’m still seeing the same image I’ve seen for my entire life, and that isn’t who I am now.  I’m slowly starting to see the new me, and that’s how I think I’ve achieved number 4… I don’t hate my body, and I’ve tried to find something about it to love daily. (Yes… I picked ‘loving my feet’ twice, so what, they’re awesome.)
  • Last but not least, 5 … So… yeah I got the math all wrong up there, but the point wasn’t how many(which is a bunch), but that I was getting rid of them.  I’ll still be in the hole probably by the time I see said spanker, but the deficit it way down, and I think I might be able to sit the next day. So… mission accomplished if you ask me. 😀

 

  • I’m using the motto above for my goals this week.  Number 4 from last week still needs major work, and so does a few other areas. My goals for the week are as follows: 

 

  1. I will run/walk 2-3 miles daily, and a varied workout on machines at the gym. 
  2. I will remember to eat more than once a day ( my life’s nuts… It’s quite easy to forget. Until, you’re about to gnaw someone’s arm off, then you tend to realize. LOL )
  3. I will continue my 4 nights a week workouts for abs/butt.  P.S. My Butt was one of my daily body loves. It’s getting so rounded and cute. 😛
  4. I’m going to continue my daily reasons to love my body, and this week I won’t cheat and like my feet twice. (It’s not really cheating if you are making the rules, right? LOL )
  5. I’m continuing to work off the deficit my lazy bum created for me, and a new deficit that my nightly routines have made. (Told you at some point adjustments would need to be made lol )  It’s a challenge that I’m not willing to fail. Bring it on.