Your Rhythm gives My Rhythm a Boner #Poetry #ASMSG #PoetryWednesday

Posted by Penelope Jones on February 10, 2016

Two such very different views,

Yet you’re my muse

You think love is science and math

I think love guides you along life’s path

2+3 doesn’t equal five in the game of love

Something your logical mind can’t rise above

I think love is alive and well

You think love means a living hell

I don’t think love is hearts and romance

I think it’s a very intricate, yet tormenting dance

Made to enhance…

Life.

I want to wrap you in my version of love

I want to help you rise above

Love isn’t about sex or money

Or about how many times you call me bunny

It’s about the times I asked how your days was

The times you bought me a card just because

Love has a rhythm unique to its owner

Your rhythm gives my rhythm a boner

My heart lived in a dark place

Your heart crowded in my space

You happened without warning

It all started with, “Good morning.”

Love is written all over our faces,

And can be found in the strangest places…

Like the janitor’s closet.

Secrets by Penelope Jones #Poetry #ASMSG #erotica

Posted by Penelope Jones on January 1, 2015

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Secrets

by Penelope Jones

We all have them hidden deep inside

How easily they glide…

Off the tongue

A laundry list of secrets, I sung

“You make my juices seep”

“When you text my heart skips a beat”

“And my legs go weak”

“I like to be spanked until I cry”

“And yes, my dickhead father’s likely the reason why”

“I love the way sweat feels”

“I love wearing high heels”

“I have a fetish for knee socks”

“I’m also seeking a collar that locks”

Each secret opens up a new world to explore

Each word you spoke left me begging for more

You scare the hell out of me

Yet, determination is the key

I told you, “I don’t chase men”

You invited me to your den

Laid before me were your sins

Crops, whips, and paddles too

I knew you’d know just what to do

You tell me your secrets

And I’ll tell you mine

I hope you’re not just feeding me lines

By my own admission

Of my submission

You hold the keys to drive my life

You hold the power to cut me like a knife

All I can do is pray you won’t

That you don’t

Because you’re right

I’ll continue to share my truths

No matter how depraved or dark

We embark…

On a path of lust and need

Maybe we’ll succeed

Who knows what this journey has in store

I hope it’s dirty, delicious, and more

Because for the right man or woman…

I’m a whore!

Christmas Eve Special Edition of Little Miss Notoriety’s Advice Column #ASMSG #Holidays #Advice #Christmas

Posted by Penelope Jones on December 24, 2014

Happy Holidays you lovely creatures. I hope you’re having a most scrumptious Christmas Eve. Thank you for joining me for this special edition of my advice column. Tonight is all about how to survive your family during the Holiday Season… Ready? Get set? Go…

This advice can be used for so many thing during the holiday season… Let’s start with- if your mother asks you to look at the corn on her little toe. Run… fast and hard. When your mother’s brother’s uncle tries to pry into your love life, because he’s a miserable drunk that can’t get laid. Run… and HIDE. He knows where you live. When the 2 almost 3-year-old has pooped in his pants, because his parents won’t potty train him, but they didn’t want to hear the lecture of “why is your kid still in diapers?” Run… before they ask you to help! And last but certainly not least… When your lovely grandfather pulls out his false teeth and says. “Oh hunny bring me that glass.” Pretend you didn’t hear, and RUN! I wish I had been given this advice.

First you have twitter and in 140 characters or less you can have a rant over why you hate your family. Then you have blogs like this, where you can express all that hatred through poetry, prose, or photos. And last but not least… you got PORN! The internet is for Porn… The Internet is for Porn – Sesame Street Style! – YouTube

Right… well I’m not posting what I got myself, but I did purchase myself some fabulously naughty gifts and so did Joseph. I can’t wait to get back home to that pole!
So… that statement is true for giving as well as getting. Take my advice- Don’t be a spoiled rotten brat. If your 80-year-old granny gives you a pair of socks with cats on them, you put them bitches on and wear them like they are stylish! Don’t you hurt that woman’s feelings, or I will come and snatch you up and beat the tar out of you. And not in a fun spanky kinda way. Ask Bruce the Butcher what happens when you cross Little Miss Notoriety!
Mingle with your co-workers, it’s the only way to find out the dirt. That is, if you’d like your pick of whom to fuck in town like me.
You get nothing, when you ask for nothing. Remember this for future reference. Nothing is just going to be handed over… Well unless you’re me, and then life just seems to keep overflowing with loveliness. Fuckdoll by day, and Dominatrix by night, I have the perfect life.

I disagree. Mistletoe should be hung with care, no matter where. Hah, I rhymed, Penny would be so proud. And believe me… Mistletoe hung there, gets the best kisses ever!

And last but certainly not least… This is true for Santa, but certainly do not ask Mrs. Claus this question! She’s a prude and is liable to deny you presents for life. She has Santa by a ball, and I heard Bad Penny has the other one.
In conclusion… Exercise a month prior to the holidays, and you should buy new running shoes. When all else fails, the Internet is for Porn! Don’t be an ungrateful bitch/bastard, and have kinky office sex. Christmas is your traditions and yours to make it what you want. Don’t let someone tell you where to hang your Mistletoe!